


Splinter

by libbywednesday



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Cartman is a good boy, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drinking, Drugs, Fist Fights, Fuck Dale, Gay Bar, Gay Panic, Gay Sex, Hotel Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Kyman - Freeform, Love Confessions, Lube, M/M, Mentions of Lady Gaga, Multiple Orgasms, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Only Briefly - Freeform, Pet Names, Power Bottom Kyle, Rescue, Riding, Sexual Assault, Shameless Smut, Some Guy Named Dale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libbywednesday/pseuds/libbywednesday
Summary: Looking to meet other queer people and avoid outing himself, a closeted Kyle visits a gay bar in the next town over. However, he doesn't expect to find out that Cartman has had the same idea and is a regular there. He thinks he's kept him from noticing him but when someone drugs his drink and he finds himself in a troubling predicament, it's Cartman who comes to the rescue.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 177





	Splinter

The parking lot was packed but Kyle managed to find a spot in the back of the unpaved lot, under a flickering streetlight. Getting out of his black, pre-owned Honda Civic, he quickly fixed his curly, auburn hair in the side mirror and exhaled noisily. It was early fall, around sunset, and the air was just starting to turn cold. He was wearing a tight fitting green sweater with khaki skinny jeans and a brown jacket. He was worried that he wouldn't fit in. It was his first time doing anything like this.

He started through the lot, gravel crunching under his feet. It was a Friday evening, just as the sun had finally dipped down below the ridge of mountains in the distance. The sky was mostly dark blue but still streaked with orange and the stars were only beginning to shine.

The club was called "The Vibe" and Kyle could hear the steady hum of neon as he walked along the side of the building as well as thumping music and chatter from inside. He pushed through the heavy set of doors. Inside, it was dimly lit aside from the colorful flashing lights and glowing LED strips along the walls and rim of the bar. It was a little smoky and loud and extremely crowded.

Kyle was both terrified and alive with excitement. He had gone far out of his way to find this place. Now that he was finally here, he wasn't quite sure what to do. He looked around, hesitating for a moment, holding his breath.

A squat, butch woman with short, spiked hair stood by the door. She looked him over for a second and held out her hand for his I.D. "First time?" she asked, with a smirk.

Kyle fished his wallet out of his back pocket and handed her his driver's license. He wondered if it was that obvious. "Yeah, I'm not really from around here," he said. That was the truth. He had driven forty minutes outside of South Park to get here. He desperately wanted to make sure that nobody he knew recognized him.

He had known he was queer basically forever. He wasn't completely positive if he was gay or bi or pan or whatever. All he knew is that he was pretty sure he liked boys. A lot. It made him anxious to think about. He didn't really know anyone else like him, or at least no one who had come out. Kyle was still deeply, deeply in the closet and he intended to stay there where it was safe and warm and only a little soul crushing. However, he had an incredible void in his chest where kinship was supposed to fit. All the queer literature he had read (on an incognito browser, of course) had stressed the importance of community and he was definitely beginning to feel the longing for it.

So he didn't come here to hook up. He didn't come here to experiment. He came here to try and meet people like him. He wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere for once. Maybe a gay club wasn't his first choice but it's not like gay coffee shops exist and it seemed like a better idea than meeting people online.

The woman at the door slipped an "Over 21" band on his wrist and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "You're with friends here," she said and Kyle felt an enormous sense of relief wash over him. Finally.

He found a seat at the end of the bar, underneath a large rainbow flag that had been hung on the brick wall behind him. His heart was still racing a million miles per hour so he decided to hang out and observe for a little while before initiating conversation with anyone or moving over into a more populous area of the bar.

The bartender was a tan, muscular guy who looked to be in his mid-twenties with copious amounts of chest hair visible from underneath his deep scoop neck tank top. He shot Kyle a brilliantly white smile when he noticed him sit down. "What can I get you, sweetie?" he asked, leaning down on the bar.

Kyle suddenly forgot the name of any drink he had ever heard of. "Uh," he stammered. "I don't really, uh..." He shook his head. "Shit."

The bartender chuckled a little. "You look like a vodka cranberry kind of guy," he suggested.

Kyle shrugged slightly. "Yeah, okay," he said.

The bartender started making the drink. "First timer, I see," he said with a grin.

Kyle exhaled sheepishly and nodded. "Is it really that obvious?" When he had decided to come out tonight, he had thought he would maybe be able to pass himself off as a cool, out of town guy but it really wasn't turning out to be the case considering every staff member he had encountered so far had called him out on it immediately.

"A little," said the bartender. "But don't worry. You're definitely not the only person who's had trouble getting comfortable when they come out."

"Thanks," Kyle sighed as he was handed his cold, red cocktail. He ran his stirrer around the rim of the glass. "I'm not really out yet, I guess."

"Girl, you'll be fine," the bartender laughed. "You just let me know if you need anything." He gave Kyle a short wink and headed off to make someone else a drink at the other end of the bar.

Kyle took a slow sip of his drink, looking around the club while he drank. Everyone on the dance floor seemed to be having a really good time. He was a little envious of them, so comfortable with their identities. There was the end of a loud, poppy sounding song playing and Kyle was pretty sure it was Madonna but he didn't know for certain. Looking around at everyone else's outfits, Kyle thought that he might look a little bit bookish or overdressed but he tried not to worry about it. He was really trying his hardest to feel comfortable.

The speculative Madonna song ended and "Judas" by Lady Gaga started to play and Kyle rolled his eyes a little. This song always reminded him of Eric Cartman. It wasn't very surprising considering Cartman referred to him as Judas for almost the entirety of their junior year in high school and was a Gaga superfan. He scoffed to himself, remembering how things were in high school.

It had been almost three years since graduation and he was feeling a little out of the loop. He still spent time with his friends sometimes, Stan especially, but he was already engaged to Wendy and had a kid on the way so he was a little preoccupied currently, and probably would only get more so as time passed. He was happy for him but it still made him a little sad. It felt like their friendship was a ticking time bomb and he was just waiting for him to be a person from his past that he no longer knew anything about.

Like Kenny. All he knew about Kenny since high school was that he had gotten into some trouble with the law and Kyle had pitched in a little for his bail bond. He felt bad about that too. Not about the bail thing, but that he didn't help him more when he could. He didn't know where he was or when he would talk to him again. Like it felt with Stan, it all felt very sad.

He wasn't really sure what Cartman had been up to over the past few months, either. They had hung out several times the year before but fell out of contact as of late. He kind of felt like it was a relief but also kind of missed him in a weird and maybe masochistic way. Though, in a way, Cartman really wasn't that bad. He had really grown up. At least, Kyle thought so, at least.

He had caught himself thinking of him on more than one occasion recently. Mostly when he felt lonely late at night. And stupid and gay and repressed. As he was slowly coming to terms with his sexuality in later years he found himself, deeply unfortunately, attracted to him in the most sickening ways. It was humiliating to him personally to be pining after someone who made his life miserable throughout childhood but it was what it was. And he would never admit it but he felt like they had something strange at one point between the two of them. He couldn't put a finger on it but it was certainly something.

He didn't hate him anymore. He wasn't sure if he ever really did. Things had definitely changed over the years, especially after Cartman started going to therapy. It really seemed to help him and, although he was still pretty insufferable most of the time, there was a lack of malice behind it. Sometimes Kyle found himself missing the thrill of getting riled up, particularly when he hadn't heard from Cartman in nearly six months.

The last time they had talked hadn't ended on great terms. Cartman had blown Kyle off without explanation, once again, and Kyle had called him out on it, prompting a two hour argument about everything under the sun, followed by silence. Months of silence. Kyle didn't know why it had bothered him so much and it seemed stupid in retrospect.

It didn't matter now, though. Kyle was two towns away and in a gay bar surrounded by other queer people that he maybe had a chance with. Romantically or platonically, really. He didn't want to be thinking about Stan or Kenny or Eric Cartman. Especially not Eric Cartman.

Which is why it was incredibly unfortunate that "Judas" was playing from the DJ's neon purple subwoofers and his mind was forced to wander. About halfway through the song he felt like he could almost hear Cartman's voice singing along to the music. He almost chuckled to himself .

And then he realized, with a shock of horror, that he actually _was_ hearing Cartman's voice. There was no missing it. His blood turned to ice in his veins. It couldn't be. But it was, Kyle was sure of it. His voice was unmistakable. Kyle had heard it hundreds of times, singing along in the car, at school performances, and just generally anywhere Cartman was. It was loud and boastful and sounded a little Brendon Urie-esque, to be honest.

Kyle's heart was in his throat. He scanned the room with his eyes, carefully, keeping his head low. He was here somewhere, he knew it. And then he saw him.

Cartman was on the other end of the club, across the dance floor from where Kyle sat. He was wearing a red, sleeveless muscle shirt and distractingly skin tight pants and mirrored sunglasses pushed back onto his head. He had one arm around a blond, shirtless twink with a backwards baseball cap and a beer in the other hand and was singing his heart out with a group of several other people. He seemed happy and his hair was different from the last time Kyle had seen him. It was shorter and kicked back in the front now. But it was still Cartman, he could be sure of that. It was the same, big, boisterous Cartman that he had grown up with.

Kyle's mind and heart were both racing. He couldn't believe it was really him. He didn't even _live_ in this town. He had a million questions and zero courage to ask them. All he knew was he did _not_ want Cartman to see him. Especially not on his first time out to a gay club. Especially not before he was ready to come out. He couldn't even fathom what Cartman would do if he found out he was gay.

Even though, thought Kyle, it was definitely seeming like Cartman was just as queer as he was. Kyle watched Cartman grinding on several guys who seemed _really_ into it and he pretty much short circuited for a second. He could not believe that he hadn't been the only gay person in their friend group _the whole time_ and it was almost too much for him.

And it had to be Cartman. It had to be the one guy who he thought he had maybe had a chance with once upon a time but also could barely stand sometimes

"Christ," Kyle muttered to himself, resting his head in his hands. "What the fuck is going on..."

The Lady Gaga song finally ended and Lorde began playing and Cartman seemed to calm down some, leaning down to whisper something in the ear of the guy he was grinding with. Kyle felt maybe a little jealous but wasn't sure why. He took a long, purposeful sip of his drink.

Suddenly, Kyle realized in horror, Cartman was walking up to the bar a few feet away from him. Absolutely nothing mattered more to Kyle in that moment than making sure that Cartman did _not_ see him. There was really nowhere to go, however. He was forced to turn himself towards the wall and pray to God that Cartman didn't look in his direction. Even if he couldn't see his face, his hair was still pretty distinctive. He pretended he was engrossed with something on his phone.

Cartman was so close now that Kyle could hear his order to the bartender and Kyle held his breath. Listening, he heard Cartman order a Bud Light and two shots of tequila. He thought he had heard him falter for a moment and it had him worried that maybe he had finally seen him. But, to his relief, Cartman got his drinks and left the bar without saying anything so Kyle felt it was safe to assume that he hadn't been noticed.

Just to be safe, thought Kyle, he figured it would be best to leave as quickly as possible. There was no way he would feel comfortable if he was hiding from Cartman the whole time so he chugged most of the second half of his vodka cranberry and left a ten dollar bill on the bar before hurriedly slipping away to the restroom.

It was empty so he stood in front of the mirror for a minute before he left, trying to decide what to do next. He splashed a little water on his face and stared into his own jade green eyes, taking a few calming breaths. He gave himself a little pep talk, promising himself that he would make it out of the club without incident. He swiftly crept out of the restroom and headed towards the door he had entered through but, unfortunately, something stopped him.

"Hey."

Luckily, Kyle thought, it wasn't Cartman. It was a man of about forty. He was stocky with a shaved head and beefy as hell. He wasn't necessarily the most attractive guy Kyle had seen but he wasn't looking for a hook up so it didn't matter to him.

"Uh, hi," said Kyle.

"Can I buy you a drink?" asked the man, with a welcoming smile.

Kyle hesitated for a moment, weighing his options. On one hand he was a little uncomfortable and on his way out the door but, on the other hand, he had come here to talk to people and he felt like he had defeated his purpose by leaving early. "Um, sure," he said.

"Great, I'm Dale," said the stranger, gesturing towards a small table in the back of the room. He pulled the chair out for Kyle and, since he had low standards, he was a little impressed.

"I'm Kyle. It's nice to meet you," Kyle said, sitting down.

"What's your poison?" asked Dale, watching him, intrigued.

Kyle shrugged. "Whatever you're drinking," he said. He still hadn't recovered his knowledge of drinks from earlier and the distracting fact that Cartman was still in the building wasn't helping.

"Okay, fair enough," said Dale, grinning and heading for the bar, leaving Kyle alone for a moment.

Kyle exhaled noisily through his nose. He didn't know what to think about what was happening. He hoped he wasn't leading this guy on. He really just wanted someone to talk to. Dale really wasn't his type and it wasn't only because he was twice his age. He seemed nice, though, and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Soon, Dale returned with two orange cocktails in tall glasses. He placed them down on the table and slid one towards Kyle as he sat down. "Sex on the Beach," he said with a wink.

Kyle thanked him and took a sip. It was sweet and fruity and didn't taste much like alcohol at all. He liked it.

"So, I've never seen you here before," said Dale, picking the maraschino cherry off the top of his drink and popping it into his mouth. "I would have remembered you."

Kyle looked a little sheepish. "Ah, yeah. It's my first time here. I'm not quite out yet," he said. He hated having to explain this to people. He made a mental note to lie the next time somebody asked him anything. That, or just not come back to a gay club until he was positive he wanted to be out of the closet.

"Where are you from?" Dale asked, quickly.

"South Park," Kyle said. He felt like maybe he shouldn't be telling strangers where he lived but South Park was a big enough place that he figured he would be okay.

"Ah okay. That's pretty far. What brings you all the way here?" asked Dale.

"Trying not to get recognized, I guess," said Kyle. "I really just want some gay friends. I'm tired of feeling like the odd one out all the time." He took another drink.

"Well," said Dale, "You're a hot guy with a great ass so you shouldn't have too much trouble meeting people here."

Kyle blushed and chuckled nervously. "Oh, uh, thanks." It felt nice to be complimented by another gay guy but Kyle still felt uncomfortable, like something wasn't quite right.

"I'm serious," he said, looking at Kyle almost hungrily. "Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"I've... heard comments," Kyle murmured, focusing on his drink, trying to finish it quickly so he could politely excuse himself as soon as possible.

"I'd like to take you home with me," Dale said in a low, even tone that made Kyle's hair stand on end.

"Uh," Kyle stammered, "I'm not really looking for... that kind of companionship. I'm not really a hookup kind of guy." This was exactly what he was afraid of. He wanted to get out of there and fast.

"If you say so," said Dale, taking a long drink from his glass. He didn't seem convinced and it gave Kyle a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Come to think of it, Kyle was feeling kind of bad all over. He was very tired and a little woozy. He almost felt wasted even though he had only had two drinks. His tongue was cotton in his mouth. He began to sweat.

Dale cracked a smile at him from across the table. "You don't look like you feel very well, Kyle," he said, not breaking eye contact. "Why don't I help you get home?"

Kyle felt sick to his stomach. He had heard about people having their drinks drugged at bars and parties before. In high school some college frat guys had come to a party at one of Kyle's friend's house and one of them had drugged and raped a girl in his class. It was all anyone talked about for several weeks and the girl had disappeared from South Park after a while.

He was pretty sure he was going to be next. He didn't think it could happen to him. He didn't expect it. He felt stupid for not being more careful. He wished he had just left like he had been trying to do.

His body almost didn't feel like his own anymore. He felt like he was splintering into little pieces and nobody was going to be able to put them back together.

"I'm... I'm..." Kyle sputtered, turning pale. He was finding it hard to make words form. "No," he managed. He tried to get up but he couldn't get his legs to work right. His voice broke. "Leave me alone." He wanted to be louder. He wanted to scream but everything came out almost whisper-like.

"Come on," said Dale, getting up and slinging Kyle's useless arm over his shoulder. "Let me get you out of here."

Kyle would have struggled if he could. He wanted to but he could barely keep his head up and his eyes open. He glanced around frantically. Nobody had noticed this happening. Nobody was looking. He felt invisible. His only hope was catching the eye of the sexy bartender or the lesbian bouncer at the door that had seen him earlier. He was sure they would understand right away what was going on.

But no. Dale lead him towards a secluded back exit that didn't have a bouncer. "Please," Kyle begged but it came out as only a squeak. Dale didn't respond aside from hiking him up a little more against his side. He pushed him through the door, out into the darkness and openness.

The air was cold against Kyle's flushed cheeks. He was so scared and so confused. His eyes brimmed up with fat, hot tears.

"Please," Kyle pleaded again, sniveling, as he stumbled through the parking lot. His rubbery feeling legs gave out underneath him and he collapsed onto the ground, slipping from Dale's grip. He just wanted to run but all he could do was look up at the sky with bleary eyes. There were so many stars. Even with the all the lights, there were so many stars. He was afraid he would never see them again.

Kyle cried out a little bit in protest as Dale hauled him to his feet, basically carrying him at this point. He could see his car from here and wished he had his keys in hand so he could press the panic button and try to get someone's attention but it was no use.

Dale had a dark blue minivan parked nearby, against the side of the building. It was unlocked and he opened the sliding side door, letting Kyle fall on the seats inside. The seats were laid down, so it was easier to be placed on them. Kyle realized, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, that this was not the first time Dale had done this. He struggled a bit to sit up but ended up lolling over onto his side with a whimper. He felt paralyzed.

Dale leaned over to whisper awful, salacious things in his ear. "I can't wait to stuff my cock down your throat, you little faggot," he growled, his lips tickling Kyle's ear. "I'm going to take every hole you've got and there's nothing you can do about it." He ran his hands over Kyle's chest and then gave a hard, painful squeeze to his crotch. It was clear that this kind of thing was what got Dale off and Kyle was terrified and disgusted and furious but so, so helpless. Angry tears flooded his eyes and welled over onto his cheeks.

"Fuck you," Kyle managed to hiss, through choked breath and gritted teeth.

Dale shut him up with a hard backhand to the face. Blood trickled from Kyle's nose, running down his numb lips and dripping from his chin. He groaned and spit onto the seats.

"Be a good boy and shut up," Dale seethed. "It'll make things easier for you." He undid Kyle's belt and pants, stuffing a meaty hand into his underwear and fondling his balls roughly. "I can't wait to get you home," Dale puffed, visibly aroused. Kyle wanted to throw up and he actually felt like he might.

After breathing more of his sour, hot breath against Kyle's ear, Dale stood up to close the door and seal Kyle and his fate inside.

_WHAM!_

Suddenly, a fist collided with the side of Dale's head, sending him toppling to the ground. Though, his vision was a little hazy from tears and intoxication, Kyle was astounded to see Cartman standing at the door. He had hit Dale so hard that he had stumbled into view, wearing a leather jacket over his shirt now, breathing heavily, nostrils flared, fists clenched, and with a look of utter rage on his face. His boiling anger made his eyes sparkle in the distant glow of neon and streetlights.

His gaze softened as he turned to Kyle, leaning in slightly to check on him. "Kyle," he started but was cut off by Dale shooting to his feet and tackling Cartman at chest level, slamming him into the brick wall.

Cartman had the wind knocked out of him as his back and head collided with the wall, dazing him for a moment before shoving Dale off, roughly.

Dale would not go down easily. There was far too much to lose. He staggered back but sprung forward again, nailing Cartman in the jaw with a hard punch.

"Fuck," Cartman yelped, bringing his hand up to his split lip before assuming a more fight-ready stance, shoulders squared and fists clenched. "I'll fucking kill you!" he shouted, rushing at Dale again.

"You want him? Come and take him, you fat piece of shit," Dale snarled, holding his arms open in a 'come and get me' type of position.

Cartman never did have good control of his temper. Now was no exception. In fact, he wasn't sure if he had ever been this angry. He exploded. He erupted. He swung at Dale, his fist colliding with his nose with a sickening crunch.

Dale reeled back, his nose in his hands, and Cartman, towering over him, hit him again, undercutting him in the stomach this time, sending him to his knees in the gravel this time. Cartman met him, this time, with a foot to the face, knocking him unconscious on the ground. For good measure, Cartman spit on him, huffing and puffing with anger.

Kyle, of course, didn't see any of this happening but he certainly heard it, even though everything sounded slightly muffled and far away. He was struggling to stay awake when Cartman leaned back down to him. He looked remarkably upset. "Are you okay?" He was close enough now for Kyle to see the difference in his odd eyes, one blue, one brown. They were beautiful and fascinating.

Kyle couldn't speak but nodded as best as he could. The only thing keeping him responsive at all at this point was the sheer amount of adrenaline coursing through his veins. Although, he thought maybe he was dreaming or dead. Cartman was the least likely guardian angel he could ever have, though.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, okay? You're gonna be alright," said Cartman, softly but surely. He carefully picked up Kyle from the seat, cradling him gently like a small child. He looked afraid and anxious. "You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay," he repeated, carrying him through the parking lot. "Stay awake. Try to stay awake."

Kyle really was trying his hardest to keep conscious but it was becoming increasingly difficult. His eyes felt heavy and it was hard to breathe. He was so tired and so cold. Cartman's body felt hot, like a furnace or like the sun and he wanted to cling closer to him for warmth and safety but he still couldn't talk or move or feel his body. Everything was very, very dark.

The next thing he knew, he was laying on a bed. It wasn't his bed and it wasn't a bed he had ever been in before but it was soft and warm, at least. Thereafter, he noticed was that he could move a little bit. He licked his lips. His mouth felt extremely dry and he was incredibly thirsty. He struggled to sit up.

"Hey, lay back down."

Kyle looked over. Cartman was sitting in a chair adjacent to the bed, watching him with narrowed eyes and scrutiny. His face was busted up a little. He had a little bit of a black eye and a split lip and a bruised cheekbone.

"Cartman," Kyle croaked. "Where are we?"

"A hotel," said Cartman. "I didn't... I didn't know where else to take you."

"What happened?" asked Kyle. He was pretty sure he knew what had happened, though. He remembered being in the club and he remembered having a drink with a stranger. He remembered feeling helpless and scared and he remembered the feeling of dread washing over him as he was dragged through the parking lot. And he remembered Cartman.

"Do you remember anything at all?"

"Uh, maybe," said Kyle, rubbing his eyes. His head hurt and he felt a little nauseous.

"You got drugged," Cartman said, bluntly, scowling. "I saw him do it." He took a breath in, almost shuddering. "You were really stupid, Kyle. Really fucking stupid."

Kyle was an equal mixture of hurt, angry, and ashamed. "I'm sorry." He didn't quite know what he was apologizing for.

"Don't say you're sorry," said Cartman, bitterly. "What were you even doing?"

Kyle gulped. "At the bar?"

Cartman's eyes were piercing. "Yes, that bar _specifically,"_ he snapped.

Kyle rolled his eyes, leaning back on the frumpy hotel pillows. "Why do you think, idiot?" He felt kind of bad insulting the guy who had just pretty much saved his life but this was just how you just had to be with Cartman. "Probably the same thing _you_ were doing there."

Cartman's cheeks pinked a little. "Well, don't say anything to anybody about it, okay?"

"As long as you don't say anything about me," said Kyle. "I came all the way from South Park just so I wouldn't see anyone I knew for a reason."

Cartman barked a slight laugh. "Hilarious. I've been doing that for the last year and a half. You just _had_ to pick the same club as me, huh?"

"Believe me, I wouldn't have picked that one if I knew you were going to be there," Kyle scoffed.

"And you'd be getting raped by a perv in the back of some dude's van right about now," Cartman snapped but then felt bad about it. "Sorry."

Kyle remembered that. He remembered when Dale had his thick hands all over his body, fondling him and assaulting him and breathing obscenities into his ear and he felt disgusting all over. He started to tremble. "I didn't think any of this could happen to me."

Cartman sighed. "I know."

"I need a drink of water," Kyle said, straining to sit up again.

"Lay back down," Cartman commanded, rising from his chair. "I'll get it." He got a paper Dixie cup off of the bathroom sink, filled it with water from the tap, and handed it to Kyle.

"Thank you," Kyle said, taking the cup and drinking thirstily. Almost immediately, his stomach lurched and he leaned over and vomited into the wastebasket next to the bed.

Cartman knelt down on the bed next to him and tentatively reached out to touch him on the shoulder. "Are you okay? I can drive you to the hospital if you need to go to the hospital."

"I'm fine," Kyle choked, spitting into the trash. He felt very dizzy. "I'm fine," he repeated, hoping to convince himself as well.

Cartman stayed perched beside him. "Shit, Kyle. I'm..." he trailed off. He didn't quite know what he wanted to say. His brow had been furrowed since Kyle had woken up.

"Can you take me home?" Kyle asked. He just wanted to take a shower and go to sleep.

"I... I don't want to leave you," Cartman admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, timidly. "You scared the piss out of me, dude. I thought... I thought you were gonna... Well, I don't know I thought."

Kyle sighed and they sat in silence together for a long time before he spoke again. "I missed you."

Cartman swallowed thickly. "You missed me? I wasn't... I mean... I didn't think..." He paused. "I missed you too."

Kyle tried to read his expression but couldn't. He blamed it on his current condition. "What happened to us?"

"I don't know," Cartman said, shaking his head. "I guess I moved on to gayer horizons. But only 'cuz I didn't think you were a huge queer like me."

Kyle shrugged, rolling onto his side to face Cartman. "Well, birds of a feather or whatever."

Cartman chuckled. "So you want me to take you home, then?"

Kyle hesitated. "No, no. Its okay. I think I wanna sleep this off first. I don't have to be back until Monday. I have class then."

"Yeah, me too," said Cartman. "Do you need anything? I don't wanna just sit around like an asshole while you puke your guts out and stuff. Did you want to go to the cops or anything?"

"No, I'm fine. I just kind of want to take a shower, I guess," said Kyle. He didn't want to have to explain himself to the police, especially not right now. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Can you help me to the bathroom?"

Cartman looked apprehensive. "Are you sure you'll be okay? You can hardly stand..."

"I'll be fine. I don't need you to bathe me or anything," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, you just need me to hold your hand," Cartman retorted, helping Kyle to his feet and guiding him across the room to the bathroom. "If you're in there for more than half an hour, I'm breaking the door down," he warned.

Kyle scoffed, leaning in the doorway for support. "Thanks. I'll be okay." He maneuvered from the door frame to the sink, his legs still shaking like jelly, shutting the door behind him. He sat down on the closed toilet lid and slowly started the task of undressing.

It took him a good, long while to strip down to nakedness due to his impaired motor skills but he managed to do it. He stared at himself in the full body mirror that hung on the back of the door. His ribs and thigh were bruised from the fall he had taken in the parking lot. Even the underside of his arm was marked up from how roughly he had been handled on his way out of the bar. There was dried blood caked on his face and around his nostrils. He sighed and sat on the edge of the tub, turning on the shower and climbing in.

Luckily for him, the bathtub was equipped with a railing like the ones old people use when they shower. Unfortunately, he found that even standing for a short while was dangerous as he vomited again and got lightheaded shortly after getting in. To be safer, he sat on the shower floor and let the hot water wash over him like rain. He wasn't sure when the tears started but he sat there in the steamy room and cried and cried. Sobs racked his chest and his wet, scarlet hair stuck to his face and neck in messy ringlets but he just tried his best to breathe.

Like clockwork, he assumed, Cartman knocked a half hour in. "Hey, Jew, Did you die in there?" he asked through the door.

"No," Kyle called back, over the sound of the water. "I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." He forced himself up and turned off the water, sitting down on the rim of the bathtub again to towel off before getting dressed again and heading out of the bathroom.

Cartman sat on the edge of the bed, watching him closely. "You good, fam?"

Kyle shook his head. "Not really." He sat down on the side of the bed, next to him, shivering. "I don't feel clean. I can scrub and scrub but I still feel dirty because of that guy. It's gross as hell."

Cartman gave him an apologetic glance. "I know."

"You do?"

Cartman nodded slightly but didn't elaborate right away.

"Did something happen to you?" Kyle asked, watching him carefully.

Cartman shrugged. "Not recently, I guess, but yeah. Um... I don't know, it's not really something I've ever told anyone other than, like, my therapist," he said. "But, um, when I was twelve my mom had a boyfriend who would make me do all kinds of nasty shit. It's pretty pathetic. I didn't even try to stop him. I didn't think I could." He grimaced, as if remembering past traumas. "Sometimes I can still taste the bastard."

"Jesus, Cartman, that's awful," said Kyle. "You never said anything."

"Meh," said Cartman. "It is what it is. I'm just saying, I'm not completely spouting off bullshit when I tell you that I understand." He paused. "You feelin' any better? Like, physically?"

"Kind of cold. Still trying to remember how to use my legs or something. Threw up again in the shower. Any clue how much longer these kind of drugs last because I don't have the slightest idea," said Kyle.

"Some guy I was sleeping with got roofied a couple months ago and he said it lasted about four hours," said Cartman. "So I guess you've got maybe another hour or so."

Kyle felt that familiar pang of jealousy in his chest and he had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat. "Was it the blond guy you were with at the club?" he found himself asking.

"Huh? No. I don't even know that guy's name," said Cartman. "Twinks can't get enough of me."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Well, there's enough of you to go around, that's for sure."

Cartman laughed. "Wow, I save your life yet again and this is the thanks I get."

"Yeah," Kyle sighed. "Yeah, thanks."

"It's fine. I just..." Cartman trailed off.

"You what?"

Cartman looked down and then back up. "I thought maybe I wasn't going to be able to help you. I was afraid that that son of a bitch was going to get away with it." He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard.

"Me too," Kyle sniffed. "I didn't think anyone saw what happened. "

"Well, I did. I was at the bar and I saw that guy getting drinks and I saw him slipping shit in one and the fucked up thing is, I wasn't going to do anything. If it were anyone else..." He stopped for a minute, replaying the situation in his head. "I didn't see it was you until you were on your way out the door. I could have stopped him earlier if I wasn't a huge dick," said Cartman. "I should have been with you. I could have done more."

"I didn't even think you saw me there. I was actually hoping you didn't," said Kyle. "I was actively trying to avoid you, to be honest."

Cartman breathed a laugh. "I saw you, Jew. You're kind of hard to miss."

"It's the hair, isn't it?" Kyle sighed.

"It's the everything," said Cartman. "I have Jew senses. I saw you at the bar but I didn't say anything because, well, I didn't know what the fuck to say to you at a gay bar."

"Yeah, well, I found you because you were singing 'Judas' at the top of your lungs so I mean, same, I guess," Kyle said.

Cartman laughed again. "That's so fucking funny. You know that song makes me think of you, right?"

"Yeah. It reminds me of you too," Kyle said. "I was thinking about you and then there you fucking were."

Cartman grinned. "Can't stop thinking about me, can you?" he joked, suggestively.

Kyle frowned. "Well, to be honest..." He stopped. "Never mind, actually."

"No, what were you going to say?" Cartman asked, surprisingly serious.

Kyle was silent for a long time. "I think about you a lot." He did. He had sworn to himself that he would never admit it but now that Cartman was back in his life he didn't want to lose him again. The thought scared him.

"Yeah?" Cartman said, sitting quietly with him for a few more minutes. "That's cute."

Kyle wrinkled his nose. "Are you flirting with me?"

Cartman cocked an eyebrow. "Have been for years but thanks for noticing."

Kyle's heart jumped in his chest. "Really?"

Cartman bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah."

Kyle stared blankly at him for a minute. "Are you for real?"

"Yeah," said Cartman. "I'm still riding on the hope that you'll forget I said any of this in the morning." He laughed, nervously, wringing his hands together.

Kyle snickered. "Since when?"

"Since forever," Cartman admitted. "I'm honestly offended that it's taken you this long to realize I have feelings for you."

"I..." Kyle started. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say. There was so much he _could_ say that it was a little overwhelming. "I... definitely feel something..."

"You do?" asked Cartman, looking a little shocked. "Legit?"

"I kind of thought," said Kyle, "that we kind of had something at some point."

"Did we?" Cartman mused. "I probably would have made a move if I knew you were gay, to be honest. But you're a _sneaky,_ gay jew."

"I mean, you know now," Kyle suggested, raising his eyebrows at him.

Cartman looked shocked. "Kyle, you can't just say things like that," he said. "You make me want to kiss you on the mouth or something and I can't do that right now because you're on drugs and that would make me a real douche!"

"Oh, right," Kyle said.

"Believe me, Kyle, I would love to but..."

"No, yeah, I get it. That's actually super mature of you."

"Tomorrow," Cartman said, eagerly. "Ask me tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay," said Kyle.

They sat together for a while, not saying anything. Cartman looked troubled, like he was really struggling with his self control. He had always been impulsive and Kyle thought it was pretty impressive of him to hold back in favor of being the better person. Kyle was not the better person. He was shamelessly horny and, even though he knew it was probably an effect of the drugs, it was really bothering him. He knew, in the morning, that he would appreciate Cartman's effort, though.

So, they both sat there, thinking that the other was horribly attractive, despite both looking a little worse for wear.

"I'm tired," Kyle finally said, flopping back on the bed. "I'm going to try and sleep this off." It really was pretty late at that point.

"Okay," said Cartman, scooting back to the pillows, reclining and crossing his arms over his chest.

Kyle plopped down next to him, rolling over with his back to Cartman. "Goodnight," he mumbled. "And thanks again."

He slept soundly for a few hours but woke with a start around four in the morning. He struggled to sit up, gasping and sweating. He had just had a nightmare where he relived the experience of being drugged and put into a stranger's van, except this time Cartman didn't get there in time and the door closed, sealing him inside, in darkness.

"Please, please, please," Kyle panted, still half asleep, thrashing onto his back.

"Hey, hey," said Cartman, softly, hesitantly laying a hand on Kyle's chest. "You're okay."

"Cartman?" Kyle murmured, waking up a little more, rolling over and reaching out through the dark to grip Cartman's shirt in his fist.

"Yeah, it's me," said Cartman. "It's me." He pulled Kyle close to him, pressing him tightly against his body, resting his chin on the top of his head. "You're okay."

Kyle whimpered quietly and buried his face in Cartman's chest, exhaling deeply into him.

"You're okay, you're okay," Cartman repeated, squeezing him lightly. "I'm here and you're okay."

Kyle nodded against him. "I'm okay," he echoed, closing his eyes. Soon, he drifted back to sleep, holding on to Cartman for dear life but feeling secure at least.

When he woke again, it was presumably daytime and he was still nestled up against Cartman as he snored softly into his hair, breathing evenly. Kyle focused on the heavy rise and fall of his chest and tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the fluttering in his own stomach as he did. He shifted in his arms and Cartman stirred.

"Hey," Cartman said, groggily, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey," said Kyle.

"How do you feel?"

"Better," Kyle said, scooching back and sitting up. He really did. He figured the drugs must have worked their way out of his system by then. He clenched and unclenched his fists as if testing if his hands still worked. "I think I'm okay now."

"Okay, good," said Cartman. "I was worried."

Kyle swallowed. He was still very thirsty. "I gotta get up," he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He ambled, sleepily, to the bathroom, thankful that his legs seemed to be working fine today. He filled a paper cup with water and drank it carefully. He managed to keep it down this time. He emptied his bladder and fixed his hair in the mirror as best as he could. He looked tired and a little hung over but at least he felt mostly fine. He was anxious, though.

Cartman glanced up at him when he reentered the other room. "You good?"

"Yeah," said Kyle, standing in the doorway, with his hands in his pockets. "So, I just wanted to tell you something."

Cartman leaned back and cocked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes, so please shut up for a minute," Kyle said, frowning.

"Okay, continue."

"Right. Anyhow. So. You told me to tell you tomorrow if I still wanted you and, well, it's tomorrow," Kyle explained.

"Uh huh," said Cartman, watching him closely.

Kyle sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. "I think I do."

"Seriously?" Cartman asked, wide eyed. "Like for real life?"

"Yes, stupid," Kyle snorted. "For real life."

"So, if I kiss you, you won't punch me in the face?" Cartman questioned, squinting his eyes, suspiciously.

Kyle gulped. "I mean, unless you fucking suck at it or something, I don't think so," he said, laughing through his nose.

"Christ," said Cartman, leaning in. Their lips met, very gently at first but soon tongue was involved and they were both shivering with excitement and nerves and eagerness. Cartman breathed out a sigh against Kyle's mouth. "Shit," he gasped. "Why have we never done this before?"

"I don't know," said Kyle, between fervid kisses. "But I'm glad it's finally happening. It's only been like ten years."

Cartman whimpered as Kyle bit down on his lower lip, tugging lightly. "That's a new sound for me," he admitted, sheepishly. "This is all new for me."

"Yeah?" asked Kyle, moving from kissing Cartman's mouth to his neck, eliciting more little, raspy moans. "Other guys don't get you worked up?"

"Nobody's you," said Cartman, trembling. "It's always been you."

"Oh god," said Kyle, kissing him deeply again. He was coming to realize just how hard he was getting. His unbearable horniness from the night before had not subsided and he understood now that it probably hadn't been the drugs in the first place. "Please," he found himself saying, sliding his hand up underneath Cartman's shirt, "fuck me."

Cartman let out a groan. "Are you sure?"

Kyle nodded. "Yes," he panted into Cartman's ear. "I need you."

"Oh fucking hell," Cartman murmured, watching lustfully as Kyle removed his shirt, and pushed his hair back. "Okay. Do you want to use a condom?"

"It's up to you," Kyle said against the skin of his neck. He didn't really care. He was too far gone to care by this point.

"Fuck it," Cartman said, pushing Kyle down on to the bed. "I promise I won't give you an STD." Everything was messier without a condom but he really needed to feel him as closely as he could, unimpeded and raw.

Kyle snorted. "Okay, good, me too," he said, hurriedly. "Now, _please_ take your clothes off."

Cartman chuckled, throwing his shirt onto the floor. "You needy little jew," he growled but then softened. "Can I touch you?"

"Yeah," said Kyle. "Can I touch _you?"_

"God, please do," Cartman begged, slipping his pants off and tossing them off with his shirt. He reclined against the propped up pillows as Kyle stroked him through his briefs, still kissing him. "Fuck," he groaned.

Kyle had removed his own pants at that point and pulled himself up to straddle Cartman's hips, grinding his cock against his, through thin fabric. He watched hungrily as a small wet spot began to form on the outside of Cartman's underwear as he whimpered, thrusting upwards, involuntarily at times.

"Kyle," Cartman whined. "Please..." He wasn't sure what he was asking for but he needed it.

Slipping out of his boxers, Kyle pulled Cartman's down as well. Finally they were able to rub themselves together, skin on skin. Cartman's cock was throbbing dramatically and drooling precum on his stomach. Kyle was so aroused by it that he could hardly tear his eyes away. "Jesus Christ, that's hot," he mumbled.

"H-here," Cartman said, reaching over and fumbling on the nightstand for a moment. He procured a small, single use packet of lube. "I keep one of these little fuckers in my pocket at all times, just in case," he explained.

Kyle gave him a bored stare. He didn't like thinking of Cartman needing to use it with anyone but him. It made him ferocious and a twinge possessive. "You use it a lot then?" he asked flatly, knowing fully well that he sounded a little bit pissy.

"Well," Cartman said, apologetically, "I mean... yeah, but..." He thought for a moment. "It's just sex," he said. "With anyone else, it's just sex."

"What is it with me, then?" asked Kyle, opening the packet with his teeth. He squeezed out the clear goo onto Cartman's length and stroked it slowly, coating the entirety in slickness.

Cartman tried to answer earnestly without being distracted by the ludicrous things Kyle was making him feel in the pit of his stomach. "I don't know. It's different. I want more."

Kyle raised his eyebrows. "More?"

"Yeah," said Cartman, glancing downward, quickly. "Uh, it's weird. I actually like you or something."

"Hm," said Kyle, looking at him, half-lidded, taking Cartman's cock in hand and rising up slightly to position him at his entrance. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Cartman panted, letting out a gasp and twitching as Kyle slid down over the head of his cock. "Oh my god."

Kyle bit his lip slightly as he lowered more, stretching with fullness. It was a pleasant ache. This was absolutely not his first time doing this but it was the first time it had felt this good on the initial penetration. It made his dick jump and ooze a little precum. "Shit," he mumbled, running his hands up Cartman's stomach to his chest. He leaned forward a bit and back down and Cartman grabbed his hips, forcing himself in deeper.

Cartman trembled as Kyle started into a rhythm, rocking back and forth and gyrating slightly, placing his hands over top of Cartman's on his hips. "You feel so good," he said.

"Yeah?" said Kyle, finding the perfect spot for his own pleasure. "Right there?"

"Uh huh," said Cartman, sliding his hands up Kyle's back and then back down to his hips again, thrusting upwards as hard and fast as he could, just for a moment, causing Kyle to cry out. "I'm already- ah- close."

"Already?" Kyle asked, pursing his lips, frowning slightly.

"I can't help it," Cartman exclaimed. "I've kind of thought about this for a long time."

Kyle slid his hands up his chest again, to his collar bone, tracing Cartman's Adam's apple with his thumb. He moved slowly, teasing Cartman's cock inside of him. "You have?"

"Yeah," Cartman admitted, gritting his teeth as Kyle moved up and down on top of him. His legs were shaking now and he gripped Kyle's waist harder, leaving little indents in his skin with his fingertips. "Baby, if you keep moving like that, I'm gonna cum," he groaned.

The sudden and unexpected pet name made Kyle's heart skip a beat. He had fantasized about someone saying things like that to him since he was a teenager but he never thought it would have been Eric Cartman of all people. "Cum inside me then," he challenged, looking down at him intensely.

"You want me to?" Cartman asked, his eyes almost glazing over with pleasure. He thrust into him from below again with a grunt, almost drowned out by the slapping sound of skin on skin.

"Mmhm," Kyle gasped, leaning forward and resting his hands on Cartman's shoulders, digging his fingernails into the skin. He let out short, even cries as his breath hitched that coincided with the meeting of their hips. "Christ, you're good." He moved one hand to stroke his own cock in rhythm, something that nearly sent Cartman into a tizzy. If that hadn't been enough, the way Kyle was rolling his hips, allowing Cartman to feel every bit of friction inside him was driving him crazy.

Squeezing Kyle tightly with his round arms, Cartman pulled him down close to him, holding him firmly against his body. "Fuck," he groaned, "I'm cumming..." He moaned loudly, almost shouting, writhing beneath him.

Kyle could feel him tensing and throbbing inside him as he came, releasing his pent up heat and filling him up.

"Ohhh, _shit,"_ Cartman exhaled into Kyle's ear. "Sorry I couldn't last longer."

Kyle nibbled at his neck, breathing out a laugh. "It's hilarious that you think you're done," he said in a low, playfully threatening voice, sitting up on his cock, and rocking slowly.

Cartman looked up at him, a little terrified, a little intimidated, but mostly completely aroused. "Oh yeah?" he asked. "I'm not?"

"Uh-uh," Kyle panted. "I'm in charge."

"O-okay," Cartman said, his heart pounding in his chest. He was rather enjoying this, however. "Go easy on me, though," he almost pleaded. "I'm sensitive."

Kyle snickered, undulating against him steadily. "We'll see."

"Have I ever told you," Cartman said, pausing to let out a small strained moan as Kyle moved obscenely on top of him in a way that would feel really good if his cock wasn't already so tender, "that you're really, really hot?"

"No," said Kyle sitting back a little more, still moving, so he could stroke his own length a little faster. "Have I ever told you that your dick feels amazing?"

"Oof," Cartman huffed, gripping Kyle's thighs tightly as he felt himself getting rock hard again inside him. Everything was a little slicker this time as he could even feel his first load of cum leaking out from between the two of them. "God, I want to fucking tear you apart."

"Stop talking," Kyle commanded, free hand drifting along Cartman's chest until they reached his throat and he squeezed lightly.

"Okay, I'm into this," Cartman managed before Kyle tightened his grip a little more, only for a minute, before he let go. Cartman noticed that Kyle's breathing was getting more rapid and his movements a bit more frantic so he slid his hand down to Kyle's cock, nudging his hand out of the way to replace them with his own, stroking him quickly from the base of his shaft to the tip.

"Mmh," Kyle murmured with a raspy breath. "I-I'm c-close," he stammered, riding him faster and harder than before.

"Cum for me, baby," Cartman instructed.

Being called 'baby' again is what ended up sending Kyle over the edge and he cried out as he spilled cum all over Cartman's stomach and chest in short, twitching spurts, whimpering all the while.

Cartman could feel him contracting around him as he came, tightening rhythmically on his cock. That, coupled with the sight of Kyle flushed and moaning, brought him back to the verge of climax and he thrust his hips up, bucking into him once again with breakneck speed, nailing Kyle directly in the sweet spot. "Oh fuck, oh fuck," he said losing it and overflowing into him for the second time.

Kyle fell forward into his own sticky mess and laid on Cartman's chest as his cock, finally softening, popped out of his ass with a gush of cum. "Ugh," he sighed.

"Wow," Cartman panted, staring up at the water-stained ceiling. "Never woulda guessed you were a power bottom."

"I'm not," said Kyle. "At least, not usually. Things are different with you."

"Yeah, they are," Cartman said, he lay there breathing heavily for a moment. "I think I'm in love with you," he said after much deliberation.

Kyle exhaled noisily through his nose. "Don't say that. Wait until we're not literally thirty seconds post-coitus before you start thinking about love. You don't love me."

"It's nothing new," said Cartman. "I do. At least, I'm pretty sure."

"Yeah?" Kyle asked, propping himself on his elbow, still laying on Cartman's chest. "Well, I might love you too."

Cartman laughed. "Just might? Please. I know you're head over heels for me."

"Hah!" said Kyle. "You wish!"

"I _know_ so," Cartman said. "It's impossible not to."

Kyle rolled his eyes and turned over, moving onto the bed on his back. "Well, you might be right," he said. "You kind of saved my life or whatever."

"And I made you cum."

"And _I_ made _you_ cum twice so who's winning, really?" Kyle gloated.

"Okay, yeah, true, true," Cartman said. He laid his head on Kyle's shoulder. "I'm really glad you're okay."

"I know," Kyle said, running his fingers through Cartman's hair. They sat there for a while like that. "You're so sweaty," he said, finally.

"Lets go shower," said Cartman.

"Okay," said Kyle, "in a minute."

They continued laying in the hotel bed in silence. Kyle wasn't sure how he ended up like this but things had really turned around. He wasn't sure where to go next but he knew he wouldn't be alone anymore. He had set out to find a community and he hadn't quite done that but he found a person. It wasn't who he had expected but, really, nobody could ever be sure what to expect with either of them.

Kyle no longer felt splintered into tiny pieces. He was not quite whole again but he was on his way.

"You know," said Cartman, as they got up for their shower, "you should go back to The Vibe with me."

"Why would I want to go back to the place where I was drugged and sexually assaulted?" said Kyle, standing. "Please use your brain."

"Well, you'll be with me this time," Cartman said. "I'll literally kill anyone that looks at you."

Kyle laughed, leaning in the bathroom doorway. "I don't think that's necessary, actually." He thought for a moment. "But I'd go back there with you, I guess." He hesitated. "But what if that guy is there?" The thought made his stomach feel cold and heavy.

"He won't be," said Cartman, definitively. "I'll make sure of that. We don't tolerate rapists there. I'm sure if I told anyone else about that guy, they'd jump his ass in the parking lot too."

"If you didn't already kill him," said Kyle.

Cartman shrugged. "Who knows! I might have! I fucked him up pretty good," he said, flexing his biceps dramatically, pushing past Kyle into the bathroom.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Be still, my beating heart," he said, sarcastically. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror for a second, all naked and sticky and bruised. His hair was a wild, fiery mess and he wasn't sure he completely recognized himself anymore.

"I mean it, though," Cartman said, putting his arms around Kyle's waist and bending down to kiss him at the vertex of his neck and shoulder. "We gays have to look out for each other."

Kyle was taken aback for just a second. Cartman was right. He had people to look out for him now. He was on the right path to finding what he had set out to do. Unfortunate things had happened to him, yes, but things could only continue to get better.

**Author's Note:**

> I slammed this fic out in like three days, it's very self indulgent please forgive me
> 
> i'm going to try to work on oneshots like this between posting chapters of the sun also rises bc i think it'll keep me from getting burnt out as quick!!
> 
> thank you for reading i love you <3


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